What can I say about Valentine’s Day that hasn’t been said already?
I know what I won’t be saying: how “love should be expressed every day, not on one single occasion” and how “Valentine’s Day is complete commercial exploitation”. Because I believe that renouncing complete commercial exploitation should be expressed every day, not on one single occasion. Ha!
As for what today has meant for me: dull work, lots of misery, unwilling witnessing of several public displays of affection and take-away. It couldn’t have been any less special or meaningless. Though I suppose there was take-away. Oh, and by the way. You know how the British are supposedly so reserved when it comes to PDA? Today, it seems this reservation went AWOL. One couple after another kissing and making out in front of my very nose. Do I go to where they work and make out with my (non existent) boyfriend and make them feel miserable? Exactly.
One year ago today, I wrote that I was hopeful. It meant something for me, I guess. But now… I’m not so sure I have any hope left. After a rather pathetic attempt at a relationship, I am, for the very first time, beginning to contemplate what my life would be like without love. And I don’t like it. I’m not sure I can actually make it. That’s another thing I’m not sure about, to add to the list. That’s something strong independent women, particularly strong independent feminists, are not supposed to think, let alone say out loud.
So, to any strong independent feminist out there who’s feeling lonely and unloved on this day of Love and Romance, let me say this: you are not the only one feeling this way, and it’s ok to say it.