Fake Boob Phenomenon

Let me share with you my last brainstorm. Earlier today I had an “AHA” moment. I discovered a missing link in the reason for the existence of what I’ll be calling the Fake Boob Phenomenon.

Fake Boob Phenomenon: The cultural and social representation of an artificial form of the female chest. Though present throughout western history, it has been markedly stronger with the advancement of the Malestream Media. The main consequences of the Fake Boob Phenomenon is the mismatch between what people, especially men, believe the female chest to look like and what it actually looks like.

(Brought to you by the Radical Feminist Pocket Book of “Super Secret Radical Feminist Code Words”)

In other words, the insistence of the graphic portion of the Malestream Media to depict boobs as ingravid, solid, in your face and of the size of a small planet. Through history boobs have been squeezed in, squeed up, squeezed out; anything but being left alone.
See, the respectable EvoPsychos have kindly explained to us that the Fake Boob Phenomenon responds to men’s natural, biological attraction to Fake Boobs. The reason is because those are preciely the boobs which belong to the youngest and, therefore, most fertile of females. Except, that the don’t. And I’m going to kindly explain to the EvoPsychos why.
In short, because supposedly “young” and supposedly “fertile” women don’t have ingravid, solid, in your face and of the size of a small planet boobs. It’s a myth created by those who don’t actually have boobs but like to look at them, which are usually men. And so the Fake Boob Phenomenon has no “natural” explanation.
I am quite sure that it must respond to some kind of fetishism that I don’t have the capacity to discover by myself (we’d probably need a feminist equivalent of Marx for that). What I have discovered is this: boobs are supposed to look like anything other than what they actually are. Because natural boobs are not “different enough” to what men have on their own chests. It takes very little for men’s chest to start resembling women’s (at least at some point of the boob developing stages), and most of them inevitably will, sooner or later. Which seems logical, since boobs are little more than men’s boobs with slightly more fat tissue in them. But this is not different enough. Which leads me to think that part of the attraction of men to women and of women to men lies in the “difference”. A difference that is very small in reality but is magnified by culture and society’s depictions and expectations of what women and men should look like. It’s the difference that is erotized, not the actual bodies. And since it’s women’s prerogative to attract men in a patriarchal society, it is women’s jobs to differentiate from men. That’s why women who haven’t done the patriarchal duty of beautifying themselves are said to resemble “men”. It’s because without artificial intervention, women DO resemble men.
Now, this is when you tell me, “Duh, Mary, there’s a hundred feminists who have been saying that for two hundred years”. And I responde, “Please, tell me where”. This “erotization of the difference” cannot be my “discovery”, but I cannot think of who has covered it before.


19 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Polly Styrene said,

    I’m almost certain Plato said that MT. But I could be wrong.. I agree though that the fakeness is the attraction of the fake boob, but that is the same with all fetishistic um, fetishes…..Yanno, high heels, make up, who fetishizes natural looking women apart from moi, and few other dykes? The artificialness is the attraction.

  2. 2

    Polly Styrene said,

    Femininity is constructed by men, that’s why.

  3. 3

    Mary Tracy9 said,

    It’s the “difference” part that puzzles me, Polly. Beauty practices seem to be all about differentiating from men. Corsets, pointy bras, wonderbras, anything but “natural”. My guess is that it’s because “natural” looks too much like men. I haven’t mentioned this but I am sensing a bit of homophobia in this mix. If women and men don’t look overtly different, if men particularly aren’t attracted by things that are overtly different to them, what’s the guarantee that they won’t be attracted to another man?

  4. 4

    Polly Styrene said,

    No strangely not, I think it’s because natural looks too much like women. The artificialness is a way of keeping real scary women away, and substituting a created controlled creature in her place (ooh that’s alliterative.

  5. 5

    Lara said,

    Good points Mary Tracy. I would add that women’s breasts are not just “…little more than men’s boobs with slightly more fat tissue in them…”. I will say that men’s chests are diversion from women’s breasts, that men’s bodies, in a sense, are a somewhat deformed version of women. Think about it, why do men have nipples? The only reason nipples exist is to breast feed, and men do not have the glands or capacity to lactate, so their nipples are useless. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking of men’s bodies as the standard and women’s bodies as the slight diversion from that (male) standard. I really think it’s the other way around, if anything: perhaps males were sort of an afterthought??? ;P
    If you look at ancient Greek and Roman statues of women, they basically look like “softer” versions of male bodies with jello-mold boobs slapped on ’em (because, of course, men like to think they invented gravity and yet can’t fathom gravity affecting breasties. With size comes weight, and weight is a measurement of gravity, what goes up must come down, etc….).
    Sometimes when I look in the mirror naked I imagine my breasts to be one-eyed blobs conspiring together to help me take over the world (a la Pinky and the Brain)….

  6. 6

    Lara said,

    Another thing I’ll add (sorry for the double post), is that media images of (ideal) breasts in the media are indeed a figment of male imagination. I often wear full D size cup (do you use the same system to measure bra cup size in the UK?), and my breasts are NOT perky. They kinda sag. Cuz, ya know, they weight more, cuz, ya know, they’re BIGGER.
    Stupid men.

  7. 7

    bonobobabe said,

    I think you’re on to something about eroticizing the difference. Men can only think in dichotomies. Man=man. Woman=not man. So, if man is hairy, woman must be shaved. If man is strong, woman must be weak.

    I stopped shaving recently, and I love it! Everytime I look in the miirror, I think to myself, “This is what a real woman looks like.” I love the little thatches of hair under my arms, and I even have hair on the tops of my feet and toes. I’m getting so used to it that I think that a woman with shaved legs looks like a plucked chicken.

    As for the part where you mention that it’s women’s job to attract men, that has always bothered me. Men all agree with the statistic that they think about sex every 6 seconds or something like that, but yet, we are supposed to get all dolled up and wear lingerie to turn them on. Why? They are on all the time. I wrote a post about it a while ago:


  8. 8

    marytracy9 said,

    Lara, you are right about taking the default to be “male”.

    Also, OMG! Pinky and the Braing BOOBS!!! LOL! Mine have to be both The Brain. I LOVE The Brain!

    Bonobobabe, I know exactly what you mean re: shaving. I have never really “shaved”, save for special ocassions. So I am fully aware that the natural state for women is “hairy” and that all those women who laugh when they find out I don’t shave would look exactly like me were they to do the same.

    Your argument that the reason why women have to be the ones to seduce the menz because sex is a commodity is interesting, but I haven’t understood it completely yet 😛

  9. 9

    Polly Styrene said,

    Sometimes when I look in the mirror naked I imagine my breasts to be one-eyed blobs conspiring together to help me take over the world (a la Pinky and the Brain)….

    Yer really scaring me now Lara…… but I don’t know what Pinky and the Brain is, would that help?

  10. 10

    marytracy9 said,

    Wooo, Polly, you are really giving away your age by admitting you don’t know Pinky and The Brain! 😛

    Here, Wiki’s entry

  11. 11

    Yup I’m saying I was at least 10 in 1993……….

  12. 12

    Lara said,

    Is it less scary now Polly?

  13. 13

    Polly Styrene said,

    Not necessarily….I’m still left with a disturbing picture of you and your evol breasts plotting world domination….

  14. 14

    Polly Styrene said,

    And yes we do have cup sizes in the UK. I tend to find them a bit confusing though and just opt for your basic stretchy crop top – more comfy as well, bras are instruments of torture.

  15. 15

    Lara said,

    Yes, bras are instruments of torture. Apparently, because they constrict your breasts so much, what with the underwire and tight cloth/padding, they do not allow natural fluids to circulate in the fatty tissue, thus increasing your risk of cancer. They also weaken the chest muscles because your body doesn’t use those muscles, and relies on the bra for support instead. So while they look like they give you support while wearing them, they actually make your boobs sag more in the long-run.

  16. 16

    Polly Styrene said,

    That’s a really interesting point Lara (sorry for the thread drift MT), I haven’t got really big breasts anyway, (though obviously they’re bigger now than when I was young and really skinny, I’m about a 38b) and always avoid wearing any kind of support if possible, cos I find even a stretchy crop top irritating. And my breasts are relatively unsaggy, though I just assumed it was because they weren’t big to begin with. You’re always told the complete opposite, that if you don’t wear a bra all the time your breasts will sag because they’re unsupported.

  17. 17

    rychousmama said,

    “You’re always told the complete opposite, that if you don’t wear a bra all the time your breasts will sag because they’re unsupported.”

    Yeah, it’s a damned conspiracy and all part of the Fake Boob Phenomenon (how do ya like that tie-in Mary Tracy? 😉 ). My mom still gets irritated with me, and sometimes even tries to argue with me, when I go out of the house without a bra (I rarely do this anyway), she strongly believes that not wearing a bra makes you sag. She even wears a bra to bed! It’s ridiculous and it can’t be good for you.

  18. 18

    m Andrea said,

    Well I’d never heard that before either, so yes thank you!

  19. 19

    jo22 said,

    Ha! I always thought men liked giant boobs on a skinny body because they’ve got an obsession with balls and it makes a woman resemble a penis.

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