The “F*ck Me” Look

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 What is “The F*ck Me Look” you ask? I only have a vague idea. But Gail Dines knows this stuff much better. This is an excerpt of what she said about it at the “Pornography and Pop Culture” Conference. (Please keep in mind that this was a live speech and I’m quoting it verbatim)

“She’s speaking to the presumed spectator who of course is male and what she’s saying is very clear: “F*ck Me”. (…). The problem with this is that males in our culture are socialized in a society in which they are bombarded with the “F*ck Me” look, where it offers visual entitlement to ownership of women’s bodies. And what is rape and sexual assault if not taking them up on that offer that she’s offering. The only trouble is that she’s not walking down the street, WE ARE. This has tremendous implications. When Madonna goes out, and talks about women and puts out the message that women are exactly as men thought they are (pornographic men), it’s all right for Madonna to say that, cuz’ you know what, she travels with beefy guys who protect her. It’s you and I walking in that fucking parking lot at night that have to deal with the guys who believe this. So that’s the problem when women talk about their choices is that every single one of us suffers in some level.”

Feel free to use the picture for all your feminist purposes.

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13 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Debs said,

    Wow, Gail Dines is spot-on about that! That ‘fuck-me’ look is everywhere, on billboards and magazines.

    But I also get annoyed by the expressions on most model’s faces in most photographs, or should I say by the lack of expression. You know, that totally vacant, gormless, dead-eyed look they have, as though they literally don’t have a thought in their heads. Although it may not be as damaging to other ‘ordinary’ women as the ‘fuck-me’ look is, it still perpetuates a false ideal of womanhood to any man who chooses to believe it, ie not thinking too much, just compliant and ‘pretty’.

    Great post!

  2. 2

    misterbastard said,

    Is there a link to Dines’ comments? I’d like to be able to use them for a course I’m teaching.

    (Most excellent blog, btw.)

  3. 3

    MaryTracy9 said,

    Hi, misterbastard and thank you!

    The comment from Dines above is just a repetition of what she said in the conference. I quoted her word by word from a video of her whole speech.

    But don’t dispair, because if you type Gail Dines and “Fuck Me Look” in your search engine of choice you will come up with articles written by her which say the same thing. Here’s a link to one:

    Pornography and Pop Culture: The New Antipornography Slide Show

  4. 4

    misterbastard said,

    Thanks for helping me avoid despair! And I should admit that I am going to use the material from your post on the American Apparel ad as well, with proper attribution, of course! 😉 I’m teaching a course on critical thinking and have decided to focus on gender issues for content; the students tend to respond well to exercises with a visual component, so I’m hoping this one will, so to speak, open some eyes.

    I’m assuming this is your field of academic research, yeah? If you have a spare moment, I’d love to know if you could recommend any texts on pop culture and porn. No worries if you’re too busy for that, of course, but any suggestions would be much appreciated.

    Mr. Bastard

  5. 5

    […] December 10, 2007 in Uncategorized I am adding a LOT of blogs to my blogroll. In doing so, I came across this post: […]

  6. 6

    marytracy9 said,

    misterbastard, I am flattered. I am not in any way involved in any academic research. I am just doing this for myself and the world in the vague hope that I can touch a few minds and hearts before I die.

    I haven’t read any texts on pop culture and porn (long story), but I do know that Gail Dines and Robert Jensen have published a book titled “Pornography: the production and consumption of inequality”. Robert Jensen has just released another book on pornography himself, titled “Getting Off: pornography and the end of masculinity”. I admire both authors, and one day I will get down to reading the books myself.

    Hope this helps! And feel free to use any material for elightening purposes!

  7. 7

    misterbastard said,

    I haven’t read Jensen’s stuff on porn, but I have read various other pieces on Common Dreams. I respect his work very much, so these definitely are books I want to check out. We’re doing the American Apparel ad exercise tomorrow in class, so I’ll be back with a full report.

    Love the “real woman” cartoon . . .

  8. 8

    […] Her eyes are vacuous and her is mouth opened for no good reason in a good impersonation of “The Fuck Me Look”, her hair is floating and her bag is up in the air. Sheer nonsense in any normal life […]

    • 9

      Raj said,

      well one thing is true and for sure that if violent,hardcore and child pornography etc n etc is not “banned or stopped” and kept awaya from underage childrens through strict rules and regulations and ofcourse through public and parental awareness the ultimate “sufferers will more be the womens”. although mens may have some bad,distracting and annoying effects too but pornography will mostly hamper WOMENS OF ALL KIND’S FROM UNDERAGES,YOUNGER TO OLDEST ages so WOMENS(ESPECIALLY YOUNG GIRLS) SHOULD BE AWARE AND HAVING SOME WISDOM AND GAINING KNOWLEDGE THEY SHOULD MAKE THEIR BOYFRIENDS, HUSBANDS OR THE SEXPARTNERS UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE WOMENS DIGNITY. THEY SHOULD TELL MENS THAT THEY DONT ENJOY HAVING SEX AS SHOWN IN THE “PORNOS” LIKE FROM DIFFERENT HURTING ANGLES , SALLOWING CUMS ETC N ETC.
      SO GIRLS, BE SURE “NOT TO LIVE SEX LIFE” AS OF BEING “SEX SLAVE” BUT TO KEEP UP YOURS DIGNITY AND PRIDE AND LIVE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING HAVING NOT ANY KINDS OF REGRET WHILE GETTING OFF THIS SELFISH WORLD.
      ” IT’S UP TO YOU WOMENS NOT TO ESTABLISH A TREND THAT COULD MAKE YOU A SEX SLAVE INFRONT OF MENS”.
      SO BE CAREFUL WOMENS(GIRLS)

  9. 10

    oo said,

    Most of these ads are used to advertise women’s products. If they didn’t work, they wouldn’t be used. If you are really troubled by these types of ads, don’t buy the products they are selling.

  10. 11

    Polly Styrene said,

    So there’s never been a disastrous ad campaign then? Maybe we’d buy more of the products if they had different advertising and we buy them in spite of the ads, not because of them.

  11. 12

    […] hasn’t been polluted by pr0n? Well, go and look up what Gail Dines has been up to, of course! Last time I blogged about her, she had mentioned the lecture she gave in the Anti Pr0nography Conference that she was about to […]

  12. 13

    b19690103 said,

    Gail Dines is a thoroughly debunked kook outed for frequent errors and fabrications. If you feel this is an important issue, don’t base your arguments off of someone who has no valid ones to make.


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